idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Randomize
