i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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