i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
