just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
