She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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