so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
