do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you win again, gameday.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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