I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
