"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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