what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
