he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
