it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
