Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
