Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
