is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
