THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
