quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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