I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
