ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
