Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
