I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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