You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
