not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
