I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
