So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
