his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
