that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just tell him i said nine months
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
