speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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