If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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