Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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