Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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