You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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