If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
