you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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