When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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