woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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