I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
