how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
