I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
