Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dicks are not precious.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
