I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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