Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
