I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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