this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
