No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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