I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
