drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
