Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
