I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This baby is an asshole
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
