One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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