I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
